The Weight of Management
What coaching 100+ managers revealed about the transition no one prepares you for
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This model is based on patterns I’ve seen repeatedly while coaching more than 100 managers in software scaleups.
Across roles, teams, and levels of experience, the same challenges tend to surface: not only as skill gaps, but as emotional and identity shifts that rarely get named or supported.
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The model maps the five core emotional struggles that define the transition from individual contributor to people leader. Together, they explain why management often feels harder than expected and why self-doubt, overload, and exhaustion can appear early in the role.
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These struggles aren’t a sign that something is wrong with the manager.
They’re a natural response to stepping into a fundamentally different kind of work, without clear language, models, or guidance.
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By naming these patterns we normalize the experience, and provide a foundation for developing the skills and practices that actually support managers in this transition.
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